Hi! Nothing much to say, just want to leave a message " A wondrous heart brings wealth and good fortune". I learned it from Dr. Gan, my father's doctor. I will see you after coming back from my trip. Bye...............

love me, love me not

Hi! I am so busy since last week, with the competitions and my open house last Sunday, I really didn't have time for myself. My beautician called me because I forgot about my appointment. Had to postpone it. No time! This saturday,my family including my niece will go for a trip, Singapore trip. Yes! Our staff club organised it. Thank you cikgu mazlan. Next year, hopefully we will go somewhere further. This week is about guys who like to bully girls and girls who do not mind to be bullied or abused by their boyfriend or husband. Last week, while having breakfast with my friends, they talked about one case. The wife was abused by the husband. I told them that women must be strong and brave. We cannot let the guys to bully or abuse us. My husband did hit me once. My son made him angry so he tried to hit my son. I pulled his collar because I know if a guy was angry, he would hit so hard. My husband hit my hand. It was hard. That was the first and hopefully the last one. I was so angry that i hit him back. So, we were even. I did hit my son but he understood the reason for it. I want to teach him on how to focus on his study. But when you are angry, don't hit your children. You will hit so hard. That is not we call teaching. Pity the kids. I told my friends that we as Muslim women must respect our husband but we need to defend ourselves or protect our children. I don't think I was guilty when i hit my husband back. I told him that i don't like man who beat kids or women. The kids are small and the women are soft. If you want to fight, you have to find a man. Luckily, he listened to me. When he was angry, he just kept quiet. He would try to ignore my son. Tell you the truth, we must love ourselves first. If your husband loves you, he won't hit you. He would treat you like a lover. I know my husband loves me and my son so much but you know guys......we have to teach them on how treat us properly and lovingly. Take care.....

nobody is perfect

Hi! Have fever since Saturday. Today quite OK but coughing, ugh. I hate it. This week is pss week. Yesterday, I had scrapbook competition and just now I had two, traditional costume and history story-telling competitions. Many Indian girls took part, they looked so beautiful. Malay, only Abdul wahab took part. Chinese, as usual Yong kah Yin. This girl, she is very helpful but I have to be very careful with her. All the persons who were closed to me, she would say something bad about them. The worse thing was I always believed what she said. Then, she tried to control everything. She was so helpful that I trusted her. Luckily, I found out that she tried to cheat me. I think she knows that I don't trust her anymore. I don't tell her friends about this. Last time, after the drama competition (we got second placing), she told me that she wanted geeta to train drama next year to become champion. Stupid girl. Geeta just lost her choral speaking competition and she wanted her to train drama. One more thing, the champion was tbs this year, who else. Tbs students were so good. They made their own script, practised on their own and they could speak english so well. Compare to my students, i had to teach them on how to pronounce the words, explained the words to them, showed them the expression, hiii but i didn't mind to teach them. I just wanted them to be proud on the stage and enjoyed the performance. So far, all the competitions that I involved, including my three former schools only once I lost, the third drama in this school and all because of that sensitive word. I told pn Chiang that this girl doesn't know how to appreciate good teachers, so next time I don't want her to be in my team. Hiiii........who else can I trust? This afternoon I had lunch at my parents' house. My mom asked me to do a few things. Only one thing, I couldn't do. She asked me to do something else. I was so tired that i told my mom, you will never satisfy with me until I die. I did cry but I managed to control my emotion before going to school for the competitions. Tonight, I will have night tuition and I am not well and so tired. She never understands me. My father calmed me down and said something to my mom. May be I am not a good daughter to her. I tried to be perfect but nobody is perfect.

Hi! Had to help my sister for her daughter's wedding. Feeling tired but it's OK. Only tonight and tomorrow, the caterer will prepare the food. Really pity her second daughter. She was so damn tired. My sister and her eldest daughter like to bully her. I helped her to wash the dishes. The big sister cannot depend on other people to do it well. I think she knows that I prefer the younger one to her. I really hope and pray to god that the younger one will meet a guy who loves her and cares for her. And of course a rich guy. She's beautiful, the problem is her late father asked her to find a guy whose name is harun. And this poor girl obeyed her father's last wish. I don't like it at all. Just wait, may be the harun guy will knock her door one day. Oh ya, my library is like a little India town now. Many Indian students came and most of them were the naughty ones. But they didn't give me any problems. They will be in their group, just sit at the back. A few years ago, my library was like china town, after that balance a bit, got Chinese, Malay and Indians. Now, more Indians. At least, they are nice to me. Easy to call them if I need help. Today, our big family assembled at my parents' house, including my granddaughter, yana, my nephew's daughter. I called myself wan to her. My nieces laughed and said, it looked funny. They said wan muda. Aiya, I am 42 what. I am like a grandmother to her. Last time, I did take off my tudung on the hari ray a morning in kelantan. I wore kebaya and put on my contact lenses. Many kids came to my mother in law's house. The best part was they called me kakak and my husband pakcik, uncle la. After that my husband said, OK enough, I think you better put on your tudung. No more attention from small kids. Hiiiii...just want to look young and feel young that morning. At least my husband still worried about me.

a taboo?

Hi sorry. Had to delete my last post. I am very open to talk about it but as a Malay woman, it was inappropriate. Sometimes, I feel it is not fair. I just want to share my experience, that's all. Talking about sex is like a taboo in Malay society. That's the problem. They don't know that the Malay kids are more advanced. The kids enjoyed doing it without thinking of the consequences. I am not pointing at the wild girls only but in certain cases, it was a big surprise to know the girls who did it. Some of them looked so innocent. Don't ever think the higher education girls didn't involve. Not only smart in their study but also every thing. They know how to abort their child if they get pregnant. But they forgot if God wants them to get pregnant, how hard they tried to abort the baby, they would fail. Then the problem is where to throw the baby. I don't want the baby, he is the unwanted one, just like rubbish so, throw the baby into the dust bin. They are smart but they are worse than animal. You want to have sex is ok but make sure you get married first. I told the girls, don't let the boys touch you. Yours is exclusively for your husband. If you like to touch boys or like the boys to touch you, you won't feel the thrill on the first night of your wedding. You are immune to it. You will feel nothing. If it is so easy to touch your body before marriage, may be your husband will get bored and it will be o easy for him to leave you or dump you. The choice is yours. A temporary happiness or the forever one.

My period was late this month. I thought I was pregnant. Then, today....the same thing happened again. I cried, my son hugged me and asked me why? I looked at him and said, I am sorry I cannot give you a brother or a sister. He looked at me and said, we can take a baby from other person. I just smiled. My husband had stomachache, so he was lying down. I came and hugged him. And I cried again. He was not well but he managed to hold me and said, there's no need to cry. Everything must have a reason from god. We just accept it. I know that but I still feel so sad. I really like baby girl. When i went back to kelantan, I always looked at hajar. I always dreamed to have a daughter like her. But god didn't allow it to happen. I want to adopt a baby girl but my husband didn't like the idea. I hugged my son and kissed him. He is my life. If anything happen to him, I don't think I can accept it. I can face any problems but I will be so weak when it is related to my son. I am not that strong. People do not understand it. They don't know how much I really want to have a baby. I thought that feeling does not exist anymore but when i got my period late, the feeling came back. I feel so hurt and depressed. Allahu Akbar, Allah wants to test me. Try to accept it with open heart. Bye....

drive carefully, please

Hi! Just came back from kelantan yesterday. Had an accident in trengganu last Friday, after breaking our fast. I did not know what happened to my husband. He was like in a hurry and he always drove too close behind a car. I had told him already but he didn't pay attention. He just drove. That night before the accident, he made an emergency break .The car behind us managed to stop but the driver of the third car drove so fast that he couldn't stop his car. So, he hit the second car and the second car hit my car. I was like 'What?' So, we went out to check our car. My son was so angry that he said bad words about the other drivers. So, I left him alone inside the car. Luckily, there was only a scratch on my car , the rest no problem. The other two cars, really need insurance to cover. The Alza owner told me that she just bought her car last year. I looked at her and said that I just bought my crv last month, then she kept quiet. Her car was the second one, so the bonnet and the boot were bad. So was myvi, the third car. Got problem with the bonnet. It was so bad. Both of them will claim insurance so, we just continued our journey to kelantan. At first I was angry with my husband. Not only me, but my son too. When i think of the positive side, we were so lucky. Nothing happened to us and to my car. My husband learned his mistake so well. He made sure that he didn't drive so fast and there was a gap between the two cars. So, we reached home safely yesterday. No accident and everybody was happy. Thank God! Bye.....