My period was late this month. I thought I was pregnant. Then, today....the same thing happened again. I cried, my son hugged me and asked me why? I looked at him and said, I am sorry I cannot give you a brother or a sister. He looked at me and said, we can take a baby from other person. I just smiled. My husband had stomachache, so he was lying down. I came and hugged him. And I cried again. He was not well but he managed to hold me and said, there's no need to cry. Everything must have a reason from god. We just accept it. I know that but I still feel so sad. I really like baby girl. When i went back to kelantan, I always looked at hajar. I always dreamed to have a daughter like her. But god didn't allow it to happen. I want to adopt a baby girl but my husband didn't like the idea. I hugged my son and kissed him. He is my life. If anything happen to him, I don't think I can accept it. I can face any problems but I will be so weak when it is related to my son. I am not that strong. People do not understand it. They don't know how much I really want to have a baby. I thought that feeling does not exist anymore but when i got my period late, the feeling came back. I feel so hurt and depressed. Allahu Akbar, Allah wants to test me. Try to accept it with open heart. Bye....