Be happy, be happy, be happy

Hi! Don't like the school anymore. Lots of things that I am not satisfied. Everything is upside down. I had class with my 3A until 10.40 a.m but until 11.35, no teacher came. The students were having Science Paper 2 until 12.00 o'clock. I just left the class. I went to the office, both of the administrators didn't help at all. So, that's it. I don't know who collect their exam papers and I don't give a damn.Our banglong was always not around, the other three (bang ngah, bang teh and bang cik) couldn't work together, the teachers took advantage and the students especially the naughty ones had party at school all the time (it was so noisy). This is not a school anymore, it is a circus or funfair. This coming break, I will really-really enjoy myself. Don't want to think of the school anymore. I have good news, my skin is quite ok now. Vivien (my new beautician) was not angry anymore. She told me that my skin was soft, moist and bright a bit. She likes it. Every time I went there, she would cut a few spot on my face. She reminded me many times not to peel them. There was one, looked like a big mole on my cheek (sebijik macam Pua Chu Kang)but after a few days, it was gone. Luckily, there was no scar. My husband was worried. He kept reminding me about our age. Aiya, I know I am old. Last time Kak Datin asked me to have an eye-laser treatment. No more glasses, no more lenses. I don't think I will do it. I feel comfortable wearing glasses at school. But who knows I will change my mind one day.....

Hi! Last time a girl cried in my class. She had problem with her family and boyfriend. I thought she will break up with him but hiiiii they are still together. Actually, I do not mind with this boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. If everything goes well, this girl will get good results in all her exams but what about if it doesn't go well. I am afraid this girl is not strong enough to face it. I told the class about my experience. Man is like a booster. My results were good until my third year. Although my ex-boyfriend was not around (we were not in the same university), I could feel he was supporting me. Examination was like a piece of cake. No problem. When I lost him (after 10 years relationship), I just felt empty. I had many friends but it's not same. When I had problem, I wanted to call him asking for advice. Then, I realised it was no more. I forgot that our relationship was dead. My parents were my great supporters. It's not easy to forget that Capricorn guy. So, my final exam result was not that good. Just consider that I was lucky to get my degree. May be both of us were young and couldn't think well. Capricorn guy was so possessive. He never showed it to me but when he heard rumours about something, he would see that boy or guy face to face. After that, the boy or the guy would never disturb me. At first I did not notice it, although my friends did tell me about it. After a few incidents, then I realised but I was not angry,he just wanted to protect me. Better to forget him. He has his family and so do I. Talking about family, my husband asked me to make a choice, Singapore or Samsung Galaxy tablet/note. He wanted to give me a present. I prefer Samsung Galaxy tablet. The price was around RM 1800 something. Ah Tan told me that it is cheaper if I buy it from Chong, RM 1600. The price is tempting but may be the product is not original, that's why it is cheap. Need to ask Lok, he knows everything about gadgets. Last year I bought my ASUS notebook from him. I thought my husband won't use mine as he has his own but he preferred to use mine. It was faster. That's why I need the tablet!

Please forgive me, Abah

Tonight is my father's birthday kenduri but I won't go. I know it will upset my father but I have no choice. My husband does understand my situation and he just accepts my action. Let them enjoy themselves tonight. I think I'll be ok. I did not cry in front of them but I am crying now. So sad. I will miss the most important person in my life's birthday. I pray to God for my father's health. I don't know. I am so confused. I really-really love my family but they do not understand it. After this I won't say anything, I will keep my mouth shut. I will become a stranger to them, not as their youngest sister. I feel guilty to my son. He kept asking why he couldn't go to my mother's house to celebrate his atuk's birthday. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I feel so tired......Happy birthday Abah, I love you!

Be grateful!

Hi! Actually I have no mood to type. I paid too much attention on the drama that I had sleepless nights almost one week. I just hope everything will be ok after the competition. Tonight I will watch a video "the vow". I just read the synopsis. It was about the wife who had lost her memory after having an accident. The husband tried to make his wife fell in love with him again. I don't know. The main reason that I have blogs because I am so scared that if one day I will lose my memory and forget all the people that I cared. It will be so bad to live with strangers who are actually the people you had loved once. I am not that good at driving. Just hope that situation won't happen to me. Shu..shu...shu....don't want to think of it. Good news...my husband gets a promotion. Now, he is in DG48. Not bad. He always makes me happy and this is what he got in return. Ustaz did say once that I was a lucky person ( orang yang bertuah). Tell you the truth, I was the unwanted baby. My mother tried to abort me many times but I still wanted to live. Too strong to be killed! A terminator baby huh!I knew the story when I was 12 years old. My aunty told me. That's why I became a rebellious teenager. So, after I was born, my mother started her business. A maid took care of me. My mother did it so well. My parents bought assets. When we stayed with my parents for eight years, my father was fine but after we moved out, my father's health was not good. Last time, two teachers from DUHA(SMK Dato' Undang Hj Adnan) came to my school to learn something from me. I really wanted to help their PSS that I asked one of the teachers to save one folder in her thumbdrive. But while I was talking to her friend, she saved all my works including my strategic plans. I was so angry but didn't want to say anything because they were my guests. Later, her thumbdrive got virus and she lost everything. She called me wanted to do the same thing. Betul-betul tak tahu malu. I had many miss calls from her. I called her a desperate teacher. Only once I answered her call, the rest became history. May be it is just coincident. But I really thank to God for giving me every thing(except babies but it is ok, I still have my handsome boy, Ahmad). Love You, God.

Hi!Today we talk about the hottest issue in Malaysia, gay among the Malay guys. Out of ten Malay guys, three or five are gay. Scarry, isn't it. It is a very sensitive issue but to me it is so simple. Why was Eve created in heaven? All because of Adam. He needed a woman to fulfill his needs. God didn't create a woman and a guy for Adam, just Eve (Hawa). When I was in boarding school, got a few girls couples. Even in my group, there were two couples. But one couple was so serious, her partner always had a love bite on her neck. Crazy. I didn't like their attitude at all. We never said anything to them or advise them, afraid that it would hurt their feelings. The problem was other girls thought that all of us were the same. There was one girl put my head on her lap. I was sleeping on the floor at that time. She played with my hair and whispered "I love you" to me.I was shocked but I pretended sleeping. Really-really crazy. After that I never slept on the floor anymore, better slept on my bed or ran away to my friend's room.She got the wrong person. I am completely normal. May be the way I looked (with my sleeveless t-shirt, longsleeve shirt and long pants), I looked like a guy to her. Just be normal ok. You are safe mentally and physically. About gay in my boarding school. I've got stories but may be later......

Hi! Miss my blog. I lost my dearest Chik last fortnight. It was so sad because she was the first person in my husband's family to accept me as who I am. I knew my mother in-law preferred Kelantanese woman to marry her eldest son but the problem was her son loves me. I still remembered my husband told me that Chik asked my mother in-law to take a good care of me because she said that I was a good woman. My mother in-law told my husband about it. I am not like other Kelantanese woman. I love my faded jeans and my faded t-shirt. Cool. I am a bit rough and frank. May be she was not used to it, that's why she couldn't accept me at first. She started to accept me wholeheartedly around four or five years ago and this year I think she loves me more than I deserve to. I respect and treat my parents in-law just like my own parents. I never look down on them. It is my job to remind my husband to call his mother, to save some money in her tabung haji and to visit his family in Kelantan. I am not good at cooking but I wouldn't mind to cook for his family. The best part was they would eat whatever I cooked for them. May be now she has realized how lucky she is to have a daughter in-law like me. Chik was the first corpse I kissed. I kissed her many times. She was like sleeping on her bed. I will miss her smile and her chuckles. She always called me Mek. Last time after her death, I would cry whenever I told someone about her. May God bless her soul. Amin. People will change one day. Last year, Jep and Zihan called me (they were my red ribbon group members at school). I was so happy because at least they still remember me. They asked me so many things but I did not like some of the questions. If about my family, no problem. Then, they asked me to join their reunion in KL. I just said,"No". After that, one mangkuk guy called me a few times and sent messages to me, asking me to join that reunion. At last I answered his call. He never expected my reason for not joining them. I still remembered his words, "Kau kan salah seorang kutu (like taiko lah) yang hebat dekat sekolah, apa salah join kita orang." I told him that I am not the same person like before. "Maaf, saya dah muak dengan semua tu, sekarang saya nak tumpu pada keluarga saya." I also told him that I was not anti-social, I just prefer to spend my time with my family. That's the truth. He was shocked. I am very sure he had told every body during the reunion event. But I still did naughty thing. Last Saturday, I climbed over my fence because the remote control gate was not working ( my son tried to do the same thing but he was stucked on top of the fence). I didn't give a damn if my neighbours saw me doing it. Luckily, I wore my trackbottom that day. My husband, when I told him about it, he just laughed. He was relieved because I still had my guts. He didn't want me to be coward because of the new principal. Oh ya, my dearest husband sent a love message for the first time on Valentine's day (but he stressed that his action was not because of that day). Who cares...I just know that I love him more than before.

A motivation for me!!

Hi! Lots of things happened at school. I am feeling down until today. Tried to look happy but my face is like an open book,easy to read. I hate school. I still did my work but it's not that good. Even teaching also, sometimes I got stucked. My husband tried his best to motivate me. I told him that I will change but.....May be I was pampered by Puan Soon that I cannot accept changes. Sometimes, the new one was too much. I couldn't accept it. Last Friday, the school called me at 12.50pm. I called the clerk at 3.00pm the reason for it. She said she didn't know about it because everyone had gone home except him. I was so scared that I cried while watering my plants. Then, I sat looking at my plants. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I must fight the feeling. He wants me to accept his style and I will do it. But it's easy to say but to face him, fuh! I don't know why I have become so weak. Relax! Relax! Everything will be ok.Oh ya! Talking about motivation. Last year, one girl told me about Chong. I would use his fullname when I was angry at him. Her story made me wanted to call him but then she said no need. She said that he has grown up and he should think well. I don't know but I just listened to her. Moreover, if I did call him, I don't think he will remember me. I just hope he has good friends or at least a good buddy, that is very important. When we have problems, we need to talk to someone that can lighten our problem. When I told my story to my sisters, they laughed because they said he was very funny. They didn't help at all. But whatever our problem is, do not end our life. Do not run away from it. How scared you are or how hard the problem is, we must face it and said I CAN DO IT (not to commit suicide loh). Take care!