Please forgive me, Abah

Tonight is my father's birthday kenduri but I won't go. I know it will upset my father but I have no choice. My husband does understand my situation and he just accepts my action. Let them enjoy themselves tonight. I think I'll be ok. I did not cry in front of them but I am crying now. So sad. I will miss the most important person in my life's birthday. I pray to God for my father's health. I don't know. I am so confused. I really-really love my family but they do not understand it. After this I won't say anything, I will keep my mouth shut. I will become a stranger to them, not as their youngest sister. I feel guilty to my son. He kept asking why he couldn't go to my mother's house to celebrate his atuk's birthday. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I feel so tired......Happy birthday Abah, I love you!