Stay at home today. Ahmad is not well. Bad cough. I did not have enough sleep last night because I was scared that he would have fever. Now he is sleeping. I want to sleep but I am waiting for my soup to be cooked. Tomorrow both of us will go to school. I hope he will be OK. I went to my parents' house today to park my car. From there, we just walked to the clinic. It was quite far. My son kept holding my hand. He kept saying, mama loves me. I just smiled at him. He got the same medicine as usual, they just add antibiotic. After that i took him to rm2 shop, bought him Ben 10 cards. Then we stopped at a restaurant to have our breakfast, rot I canai telur. Tapau two for my parents. He was so happy. He kissed my hand and my cheek. Well, a guy came siiting near us. He was smoking. I looked at him and said sorry encik, my son has athma, we just returned from a clinic. I showed him the medicine. Can you please sit at another place? He didn't say anything. He looked angry but he did move to another place. Haiya, no comment. I am not sure whether he was rude or was I being rude? But I did say thank you to him though he did not respond. This month, my nephew and my niece will go back to Egypt. He did not inform me but his sister told my husband after being asked. Haiiii.........it is sad. You see when they were small, I did take care of them. I am very sure when they start working they won't give me anything. Money of course no, a gift I don't think so, wishing or calling better do that to their mom, visiting not in their list. Haiiii......sometimes my students are better than my nieces and my nephews, except jijah. I always give them money for their wedding, their study, their children. It is not a problem to me. Hi....sometimes if their children forgot to do that, the parents should teach them. This Saturday, I will go to my sister's house to give some money to my niece and nephew. Just hope they will become kind hearted doctors one day.

On the way home from gemencheh. Had our lunch at santapan impian, tampin. I cannot eat hot and spicy food, my tummy cannot accept it. Last time, I tried to eat it but had to go to the toilet a few times at school. It was really embarrassing. My parents, my siblings, my husband and my son, they also cannot take hot food. That is why I have problem at the canteen. I always ordered nasi goreng kampung, mi sup, chicken porridge (but the chicken is not much and at 11 o'clock i will feel hungry) and nasi tomato (i will tapau three on friday), if not I just ate fried chicken and plain rice. That's the only canteen food I can eat. Pity me. I told them already but they still serve hot food. Oh ya! Yesterday my husband booked his new car. It's cute. He wanted to buy myvi at first but I told him no. I do support Malaysia products but I still remember the two cars that involved in the accident, myvi and Ala. Better pay more as long as we are safe. Read an article about Malay wives. What he said is true. People think that i am naughty, know nothing about religion. Loves entertainment. I love entertainment. Humans need entertainment, even our rosul Muhammad loved music ( like kompang, avoid flute) but I still know what is right and what is wrong. I am not liberal but balanced. I told my husband that i don't mind if he wants to go to the mosque but when i need his help at home, he must help me. You want to get reward from god but make sure your family is OK first. Whatever we do, do not give burden to other people. Do something that god please. Be kind so god will be kind to you. Don't be selfish!

gangsterism

Hi! So lazy to update my blog. Lots of things happened at school and home. I am just tired. My son 's doing quite well in his maths tuition. Every Friday and Sunday we will go to gemencheh for that. Then, ustazah will come to our house for his iqra' and he also learns on how to perform prayer. I think after a few months he will perform well in both classes. About my school life....it's not like last time. Gangsterism. It's bad. I don't like it at all. I love my students including the naughty ones, so I don't like when there was a fight. One girl told me that she didn't like Poon khai lun's time. The Chinese boys were bad. I told her that the boys were better than this year boys. They were just naughty, not gangsters. I felt safe when they were around. This year boys especially saravanan and his friends, they are nice and they do respect me but I still feel anxious. I do not feel comfortable. There are only a few boys that i can rely on. I told my husband but he doesn't understand. My school is not like his school. He said let the admistrators do their work and your job is just teaching but how to teach my class if other classes are making noise. Big problem!

Hi! My son has his maths tuition at gemencheh. I think her methods are very simple and fast, still I have to simplify it to suit with my son's level. She said that my son was so lucky to have a mother like me. Sometimes, I feel jealous when i look at my friends. Most of their children are smart. Never mind, as long as my son is good, independence and not lazy, there won't be a problem. Oh ya, yesterday was my birthday. My husband took us to pizza hut and he gave me rm200.00. Last year, he just bought me a birthday cake. May be he got his promotion this year, that's why he has extra money. Anyway, thank you so much. His birthday was last week. I didn't give him things but I gave him a very special present early in the morning on his birthday. Guys, how serious they are, they want women who know how to treat them well especially on bed. OK, OK no more about this thing. Singapore trip was superb, we really enjoy ourselves. Bought t shirts, fridge magnets and souvenirs. One guy said," badan akak cantik" in Singapore. Yargh. Better in China, a few China ladies called me "big eyes". I told my husband and he just said, "that is why I don't want you to wear jeans and black shirt (my favourite one). " I like to buy cloth now to make baju kurung. I think I have changed. I still like to wear jeans but I will wear baju kurung mostly. When we went to Singapore, there's somebody's wife who looked at me not in a nice way. Not only me wearing jeans, got a few but she kept looking at me. Haiiii....I just want to enjoy myself, want to relax, feel free, nothing else. I feel lucky to have my husband. Sometimes I feel like I am just a small kid and sometimes he made me feel like a woman. I want to wear pretty clothes like other women or put on make up but I just don't know how. My husband did say that i have changed a bit, but whatever it is he still likes as who I am. I don't want to be like other women but I want to change. Be a woman.......

Hi! Nothing much to say, just want to leave a message " A wondrous heart brings wealth and good fortune". I learned it from Dr. Gan, my father's doctor. I will see you after coming back from my trip. Bye...............

love me, love me not

Hi! I am so busy since last week, with the competitions and my open house last Sunday, I really didn't have time for myself. My beautician called me because I forgot about my appointment. Had to postpone it. No time! This saturday,my family including my niece will go for a trip, Singapore trip. Yes! Our staff club organised it. Thank you cikgu mazlan. Next year, hopefully we will go somewhere further. This week is about guys who like to bully girls and girls who do not mind to be bullied or abused by their boyfriend or husband. Last week, while having breakfast with my friends, they talked about one case. The wife was abused by the husband. I told them that women must be strong and brave. We cannot let the guys to bully or abuse us. My husband did hit me once. My son made him angry so he tried to hit my son. I pulled his collar because I know if a guy was angry, he would hit so hard. My husband hit my hand. It was hard. That was the first and hopefully the last one. I was so angry that i hit him back. So, we were even. I did hit my son but he understood the reason for it. I want to teach him on how to focus on his study. But when you are angry, don't hit your children. You will hit so hard. That is not we call teaching. Pity the kids. I told my friends that we as Muslim women must respect our husband but we need to defend ourselves or protect our children. I don't think I was guilty when i hit my husband back. I told him that i don't like man who beat kids or women. The kids are small and the women are soft. If you want to fight, you have to find a man. Luckily, he listened to me. When he was angry, he just kept quiet. He would try to ignore my son. Tell you the truth, we must love ourselves first. If your husband loves you, he won't hit you. He would treat you like a lover. I know my husband loves me and my son so much but you know guys......we have to teach them on how treat us properly and lovingly. Take care.....

nobody is perfect

Hi! Have fever since Saturday. Today quite OK but coughing, ugh. I hate it. This week is pss week. Yesterday, I had scrapbook competition and just now I had two, traditional costume and history story-telling competitions. Many Indian girls took part, they looked so beautiful. Malay, only Abdul wahab took part. Chinese, as usual Yong kah Yin. This girl, she is very helpful but I have to be very careful with her. All the persons who were closed to me, she would say something bad about them. The worse thing was I always believed what she said. Then, she tried to control everything. She was so helpful that I trusted her. Luckily, I found out that she tried to cheat me. I think she knows that I don't trust her anymore. I don't tell her friends about this. Last time, after the drama competition (we got second placing), she told me that she wanted geeta to train drama next year to become champion. Stupid girl. Geeta just lost her choral speaking competition and she wanted her to train drama. One more thing, the champion was tbs this year, who else. Tbs students were so good. They made their own script, practised on their own and they could speak english so well. Compare to my students, i had to teach them on how to pronounce the words, explained the words to them, showed them the expression, hiii but i didn't mind to teach them. I just wanted them to be proud on the stage and enjoyed the performance. So far, all the competitions that I involved, including my three former schools only once I lost, the third drama in this school and all because of that sensitive word. I told pn Chiang that this girl doesn't know how to appreciate good teachers, so next time I don't want her to be in my team. Hiiii........who else can I trust? This afternoon I had lunch at my parents' house. My mom asked me to do a few things. Only one thing, I couldn't do. She asked me to do something else. I was so tired that i told my mom, you will never satisfy with me until I die. I did cry but I managed to control my emotion before going to school for the competitions. Tonight, I will have night tuition and I am not well and so tired. She never understands me. My father calmed me down and said something to my mom. May be I am not a good daughter to her. I tried to be perfect but nobody is perfect.