Hi! Miss my blog. I lost my dearest Chik last fortnight. It was so sad because she was the first person in my husband's family to accept me as who I am. I knew my mother in-law preferred Kelantanese woman to marry her eldest son but the problem was her son loves me. I still remembered my husband told me that Chik asked my mother in-law to take a good care of me because she said that I was a good woman. My mother in-law told my husband about it. I am not like other Kelantanese woman. I love my faded jeans and my faded t-shirt. Cool. I am a bit rough and frank. May be she was not used to it, that's why she couldn't accept me at first. She started to accept me wholeheartedly around four or five years ago and this year I think she loves me more than I deserve to. I respect and treat my parents in-law just like my own parents. I never look down on them. It is my job to remind my husband to call his mother, to save some money in her tabung haji and to visit his family in Kelantan. I am not good at cooking but I wouldn't mind to cook for his family. The best part was they would eat whatever I cooked for them. May be now she has realized how lucky she is to have a daughter in-law like me. Chik was the first corpse I kissed. I kissed her many times. She was like sleeping on her bed. I will miss her smile and her chuckles. She always called me Mek. Last time after her death, I would cry whenever I told someone about her. May God bless her soul. Amin. People will change one day. Last year, Jep and Zihan called me (they were my red ribbon group members at school). I was so happy because at least they still remember me. They asked me so many things but I did not like some of the questions. If about my family, no problem. Then, they asked me to join their reunion in KL. I just said,"No". After that, one mangkuk guy called me a few times and sent messages to me, asking me to join that reunion. At last I answered his call. He never expected my reason for not joining them. I still remembered his words, "Kau kan salah seorang kutu (like taiko lah) yang hebat dekat sekolah, apa salah join kita orang." I told him that I am not the same person like before. "Maaf, saya dah muak dengan semua tu, sekarang saya nak tumpu pada keluarga saya." I also told him that I was not anti-social, I just prefer to spend my time with my family. That's the truth. He was shocked. I am very sure he had told every body during the reunion event. But I still did naughty thing. Last Saturday, I climbed over my fence because the remote control gate was not working ( my son tried to do the same thing but he was stucked on top of the fence). I didn't give a damn if my neighbours saw me doing it. Luckily, I wore my trackbottom that day. My husband, when I told him about it, he just laughed. He was relieved because I still had my guts. He didn't want me to be coward because of the new principal. Oh ya, my dearest husband sent a love message for the first time on Valentine's day (but he stressed that his action was not because of that day). Who cares...I just know that I love him more than before.

A motivation for me!!

Hi! Lots of things happened at school. I am feeling down until today. Tried to look happy but my face is like an open book,easy to read. I hate school. I still did my work but it's not that good. Even teaching also, sometimes I got stucked. My husband tried his best to motivate me. I told him that I will change but.....May be I was pampered by Puan Soon that I cannot accept changes. Sometimes, the new one was too much. I couldn't accept it. Last Friday, the school called me at 12.50pm. I called the clerk at 3.00pm the reason for it. She said she didn't know about it because everyone had gone home except him. I was so scared that I cried while watering my plants. Then, I sat looking at my plants. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I must fight the feeling. He wants me to accept his style and I will do it. But it's easy to say but to face him, fuh! I don't know why I have become so weak. Relax! Relax! Everything will be ok.Oh ya! Talking about motivation. Last year, one girl told me about Chong. I would use his fullname when I was angry at him. Her story made me wanted to call him but then she said no need. She said that he has grown up and he should think well. I don't know but I just listened to her. Moreover, if I did call him, I don't think he will remember me. I just hope he has good friends or at least a good buddy, that is very important. When we have problems, we need to talk to someone that can lighten our problem. When I told my story to my sisters, they laughed because they said he was very funny. They didn't help at all. But whatever our problem is, do not end our life. Do not run away from it. How scared you are or how hard the problem is, we must face it and said I CAN DO IT (not to commit suicide loh). Take care!

How to attract girls? Let me help.....

Hi! We went to Genting Highlands last Monday. Best. We really enjoyed ourselves. So many people there especially, the Chinese. It made me thinking why they were there. They should stay at home, waiting for their relatives. I don't know, may be they already had their makan besar that night, so it was ok. While waiting for the ride (it was a long queue), I played stepping feet with my son. My husband got headache watching us. He started pot, pet, pot, pet. Then, we played biting hands. I didn't know that my husband wanted to take us here (although I did mention to go to Genting during the break before but he did not give a good respond). So, it was a big surprise. But we had another problem. I did not bring my sweater. My son was lucky. I brought extra t-shirt for him. So, he wore two. Inside the monorail, my son started asking for a drink, while I started complaining about the cold. Again, my husband babbled about our inconvenience.I just hugged him and then he kept quiet. I really love this guy. He just doesn't know that I love him so much. I always want him and my son to be happy. He also wants me to be happy. He always fulfills my requests. That is why I call him my fairy godmother. Last week, I told a few boys the correct way to tackle girls. I didn't like their attitude. They like to attract my attention, they were overacting. I did not like that. Guys suppose to be gentle. Not rough. They will make the girls run away. Actually, they make me scared or bored. They should relax. My husband, he didn't like to attract my attention. He always looks at me or can I say, stare. Last time, when he looked at me I would hide my face on his chest or I looked at somewhere else. Now, no more. I will look back and make funny face. Sometimes, he will laugh (depend on his mood). And may be because of that, he is like my magnet. I feel attracted to him. I know the boys want to be funny but they don't have to act stupid. When you like someone, even when he said something serious, you will laugh because you are happy, not scared. It is not difficult. What a woman really wants in a guy is caring, gentle and matured. It doesn't mean that you are young, you are not matured. It is the way you think. That's why in certain cases, we can find the wife is older than the husband. My husband is two years older than me. He always doesn't mind if I act like a small child because he knows my mind is older than my age. Chow...

Sorry!

It has been so long. I was so busy reading all the twilight novels. It was crazy. I told my husband that he is my real life boyfriend but Edward Cullen is my fictional boyfriend. At first, he just ignored it. He thought there's no need to be jealous of that. I didn't know what did he notice of that made him so angry with me. No more twilght books. He would burn it if he saw me reading (that was end December). Hiii....now everything is back to normal. With the books that I have to check and my routine work on teaching Ahmad. But..I still read the novel before I sleep. May be for 10 minutes or 15 minutes because I have memorized the story already. So, I know which chapters or lines that I want to read. I really hope that I do not talk in my sleep. I don't know, sometimes accidentally, I will do it. Especially, when I was so tired, had a fight with someone or really thought of something. My husband would wake me up and it would be so embarassing because I thought he had heard what I said. He never told me about my dream only his expression would tell me everything. Now, about my son. He has his tuition with my friend but yesterday my friend told my husband that she could not teach him anymore. He was so stubborn. He kept saying "nak mama, mama, mama" in her class. She knew that my son was a smart kid but he didn't want to learn with her. I told my husband that I wanted to stop working. I wanted to focus on my son. Morning, I will do the housework; afternoon, help him with his homework and at night, I will teach him. I will sell all my assets; my house at Taman Clonlee, my land, insurance, even my car. My son only wants me to teach him. Last year he failed all subjects in his August monthly test because I didn't have time to teach him. With my PSS work and my form three exercise books. I sacrificed my son's result just to make sure my students got a good result. 2 weeks before his final exam, I managed to teach him ( It was PMR at that time). He got B for his Science, C for his Maths and D for English and BM. My husband asked me to wait. He didn't like my idea. I don't know. No teachers want to teach him. They do not understand him. It's so complicated. Haiii...just wait and see. Oh ya, Happy Chinese New Year to all Malaysians. I have Malay, Bugis, Java and Chinese blood. My siblings do not look alike. Both my sisters and my eldest brother look like orang putih. My Bang Ngah looks like Malay and my judge brother looks like Chinese. My look. I have no comment. I have all those features. So bad, right. My Malay student told his friend that he liked to see my face. When I went to my friend's wedding with my parents years ago, a Chinese photographer kept following me. I didn't feel comfortable. He wanted to take my photo. I didn't like it so, he said I could have my mother beside me. My mother looked so proud. She told me that no professional photographer wanted to take my sisters' photo before. I just kept quiet because I didn't like attention. I had to force myself to speak in the public and it was so hard.

Hi, quite busy for the last few days. I had guests to entertain to. My brother-in-law's family. Just took his family to Malacca because they had to go back to Kelantan this morning. I miss the three year old Hajar, his daughter. She's like me, rebellious. May be all because she's surrounded with her two brothers. She wanted to stay here with me but I had to let her go. I don't want to hurt the mother's feeling. My hair was cut last week. I like my new hair but I look like a teenager. No wonder the small kids like to play with me. My husband...he never stopped smiling when he looked at me. It was so short but the front one, she made it a bit longer. Luckily, I wear tudung when I go outside if not....die la. Have to leave now, my two heroes are back. Bye! Bye!

Happy, Happy, Happy

Hi! Really enjoy my holidays. just stay at home with my son but I have no problem. My husband, busy as usual. He has to become the STPM invigilator at TBS. Suppose, we will go to Singapore on 6 and 7 December but everything has to be cancelled. I am like a PMR student; watching videos and playing with my son. I don't have enough sleep. My husband did notice my swollen eyes and asked me to sleep early as usual. I told him that I really need a break. I still know my responsibility as a wife but I just need to clear my mind. I look like a zombie or monster now but I think next week, I will start to take care of my appearance, need to visit my two buddies,Seatly (hairdresser) and Janice (the beautician). it has been a long time. I forgot to love myself. Always think of other people first. Now, everything is ok. So,hello I am back. Nice to meet you....Don't forget to watch breaking dawn p1. I am looking forward for the Part 2, November 2012. I know the ending of the story but I still want to watch the movie.

Edward Cullen vc Jacob

wow! I love both guys but I like Edward more because he always watched his words. He never said bad words when he spoke and he liked to say sorry. A perfect gentleman. Jacob, he's more open. He just said whatever he wanted to say. If he's not satisfied with something or someone, he just changed into werewolf, walla. But both of them loved the same woman dearly. They always risked their lives for Bella. What a lucky woman. Can we love more than one guy? I think it's ok. Jacob wss her bestfriend whereas Edward was her lover and her husband, of course. Sometimes, there are certain things that we cannot discuss or share with the husband but we can discuss with our bestfriend or share with him or her our stories. I don't know. Last time I always thought I could tell anything to my husband but there are certain things that he didn't bother. Simple thing, like movie or songs. He did watch movies and listen to songs but he just watched or listened. I don't know whether he liked the song or movie. After watching movie, I will tell him my opinion. He would listen to me but he just listened, no comment from him. Look at the positive side, he would let me to buy any dvds I would like to watch as long as I am happy and let me to watch it until late midnight (school holidays babe, needs to enjoy myself). One more thing, he is not a perfect gentleman (70%) but he's always there for me. He is my strength. At least I can be myself for the rest of my life. I don't have to change into a vampire like BELLA. Thank you God!