deep in my heart

Hi! We are on the way to go back to kelantan.I am waiting for my husband outside the mosque in kemaman. He is performing his Friday prayer. My husband asked my son to accompany me. That boy didn't look happy but he listened to him. I am worried about my mother. The doctor told me that she was depressed. She didn't look happy. I love my mother but there's something that stopped me from showing my true love to her. Not like my father. It will be so easy with him. I was angry at her before because I think she is not fair. But she is a mother. She knows what is good and what is bad for her children. She knows I can handle any problems. She made me tough. Sometimes, I don't like the way she treated her relatives. It 's like she 's being bullied. I don't like it at all. I would speak out and my mother would get angry at me. She thinks I was rude to her relatives or to her other children. After this I wii try to behave myself. As long as she is happy, I won't say anything. If only she knows how much I love her...........

selamat hari raya

Hi! This Friday I will go back to kelantan. We will stay there until Wednesday. Never mind, his parents are my parents too. No big deal. I am so lucky because we live here in negeri sembilan. Almost every day I can see my parents' face but my husband? Only during the holidays. We cannot be sefish. He is so good to buy a house here so I can be closed to my parents. As long as I have my husband and my son be by my side, I will try to be happy in kelantan. His parents are good. His mom will cook nasi dagang early in the morning. Then, we will go to the mosque to perform hari ray a prayer. After that, we will visit his relatives. I cannot imagine the food they will serve for us. So good. But on the second day, do not expect to have satay, rice or laksa. Most of his old relatives will start their puasa enam. We just have a chat and eat the ray a biscuits. Everybody will talk about their family..........and I just listen. Why? I do not understand kelantan accent that well so, better listen than saying the wrong words. That will be my life in kelantan. Oh ya, I got my promotion. I am the youngest teacher who gets dg 48 at my school. My seniors especially, Mr ng said that I was so lucky. Oh ya, my right eye would blink a few days before I got good news. Last time, I was so scared when my right eye kept blinking. I surfed internet. If it is right eye, it means good fortune but if your left eye is blinking it means you will get bad news. I don't know. May be it was just coincidence. OK, byr-bye and take care. Selamat Hari Ray a....drive carefully. I should tell that to my husband, sometimes he drove like Michael Schumacher.

are you smoking?

Hi!I almost finish the work today. Kalai and gang helped me a lot. Gave them duit raya. Kalai didn't want to accept my money but when I said it was duit raya and if they didn't want to accept it, I will give that money to other students. It was a relief when he and his gang accepted it. I really appreciate their help. Thank you so much. But working with this kind of students gave me a problem. When there was a break, they went out . When they came back, I smelled something, cigarette smoke. Hii...smoking. My husband stopped smoking after coming back from our second umrah. All of a sudden he didn't like to smoke anymore until now. I still remember our first dating. He asked me whether I like a smoking guy or not. I told him that I didn't mind. But after I have Ahmad, I become health conscious. My son has athma, so we have to be very careful. I made a smoking corner outside my parent's house. For our own house, I made two places for smoking, near the porch and outside our kitchen( it is for my father actually. He was scared to sit in front alone, so here he could see me. My adorable father). Nothing much to say. I am exhausted. I think I want to break my fast with my parents. I want to buy nasi ayam kfc today. My father will love it. Bye........

The right guy

Hi! Today I had a chat with my student, a girl. Well, we talked about boys. She is a very smart girl. Her boyfriend is not like her, playful and not matured. I don't know. May be this is what we call love. I don't mind if the guys are not rich or less smart but they must be responsible, caring and hardworking. I like kalai selvam. His class is 5 mpv (the last class) . When I found out that his girlfriend is a 5 SC prefect. I just said, love is really blind. Then, when this boy helped me a lot, wow he has a charisma. He has his vision. He knows that he cannot do well in his study, he learns technical thing like repairing car or whatever. He helped me in the library, all the Indian girls looked at him and said something. This boy didn't even look at them. He just did his work. Very loyal. Now I have no comment about them. As long as they know the limit. The girl will get a good result in spm and the boy will take care of her in his own way. The problem is if the boy that we love is lazy, irresponsible, playful, just know the word enjoy and likes to flirt. Better to forget him. I told that girl, it is a long way to go. After this you will go to a university or college, you will meet new boys. Then, you will get a good job and meet new guys. I asked her to make a choice, a guy that you love but irresponsible or the guy that you don't love but very responsible. He knows how to take care of himself and of course he will take a good care of us. Sooner or later you will fall in love with this kind of guy. Love is important but make sure we give our love to the right person, the person who deserves it...........bye.

just a comment from me

Hi! I watched the match last night, lee Hong Wei vs Lin Dan. I think both of them were good. For the first time, I saw Lin Dan panicked during the match. CHONG WEI WAS BETTER THAN BEFORE. He was so energetic. But why did he lose? Easy. He should meet misbun sidek, his former coach before he left malaysia or at least called him before the final match. He should respect misbun because he was the one who made Hong Wei to become world number one badminton player then. He should not forget what misbun had done for him. Every body said Hong Wei was a good guy compare to Lin Dan. He is good but he does not respect his former coach and that is bad. Lin Dan has the fierce look but a soft heart. All of us could see his wife and mom came to support him. He was very patriotic indeed. He really loved his country ( we could see from his action). I told my students many times. You must respect your parents and teachers. They will pray for your success. In 2009, there was one girl who was rude to me. I was giving the class the techniques of answering, she made noise. I told her that if she didn't want to listen, she could leave. So she left. It was bad. I prayed to god please let this girl passed this paper. She had tuition outside so she didn't need my class. I was scared this girl would fail. When the result came out, all her friends got b or c. She got d. At least she passed, thank god. I don't want my students to worship me, I don't mind if they didn't give me a present, I just want them to respect me. Not to salute me. Just pay attention during my class. If you are so good but your attitude is bad, I don't think you can do well in your exam. I also learn from my mistake. I can't hurt my mother's feeling, if I do that my life will be like hell. When I was in form five and at university, I did hurt her feeling. I failed one subject (school one) and one paper (university one) . Until now, before I do something I will get her permission. I will ask her first. That's why I cannot be bad, god will punish me. Dusyum, dusyum. Once again, BE GOOD.........

dam! dum! bunyi mercun

Hi! Two more weeks before hari raya. My son begged me to buy him firework and I just said no. I don't want him to get hurt. He said that he will buy it from his friend and they will play at school. Where did he learn that threatening skill? May be my husband will buy that thing for him. When I was small, my bothers would buy that thing for us, the girls. As the youngest one, I preferred to watch them playing it. I was scared to hold it. Another scary thing is balloon. I like balloon and firework but I am just scared. Same with the height. Now, I am quite OK. Last time, I wouldn't dare to look down. All because of my second floor library. Sometimes, when I need my students' help, I just shout from there. Lots of practice can overcome your phobia. Tonight, I will go to the mosque to perform terawih prayer. No homemade hwri ray a cookies, just ordered as usual. Pity my big oven! Next time OK.

Just be good, ok

Hi! I think my eyesight is getting worse. It is time to visit the optometrist. Later la. This afternoon at school, suddenly I had chest pained. I stopped doing my work. I went to the canteen and bought some food, ayam percik, masak as am ikan tenggiri, Tempe goreng and masak lemak peria. Yummee, yummee, yummee. Heiiii be patient, I still have another three hours. Focus on the topic please. Why people like me so lazy to see a doctor? First, now I don't feel the pain anymore, so relax. May be I am just tired. If I want to see a doctor, I need my husband to take me there. It means I have to tell him about my chestpained and he will get worry. No need. I always think of other people first. Tried to change but I can't. I told my mom once that I am tired of being good. My mom asked me back, did you lose anythin when you are good? I told her no. In fact I got everything I want or more than what other people got. Then, she said, see, there's nothing wrong to be good. You should be grateful to God. Yes, what she said is right. We should appreciate what we have. I sacrifice for my family, God makes my life easy. It 's boring but better than people who lead difficult life. When I think of it....I AM So LUCKY.