Dizzy

Hi! Nothing much to do so I can update my blog almost every day. Actually I have exam papers to check but I still have next week to do it. Relax....I called my friend, Jep (Dr Jep)last Wednesday. Just wanted to say sorry for not coming to her house on Wesak's Day. She was angry but after I explained the reason, she's ok. I still call her Jep, should call her Alin. She's a mother of three heroes. Wow! I took my father to see a specialist on that day. He suspected that my father had tumor in his tummy. Luckily, he just has ulcer. It was a big relief but he still has to take a few precaution, less smoking, no chillies and no fruits. He also takes gamat jelly (sea cucumber) twice a day. I think after six months my father will be ok. Feeling a bit dizzy. Last night I watched GI Joe until 1.00 a.m. My husband was not at home (camping babe, he is the deputy commandant) and my son slept already. I felt sleepy but I forced myself to watch it. Bye for now

Please accept us as who we are

Hi! Last night I watched a video "What's your number". Oh my God. It was hilarious. I love it. The story was simple. It's about a woman who wanted to find a husband (after she had slept with 20 different men). She came across an article saying that if it is more than 19 she would be single forever. The number 20 should be her husband. So, she needed to find all her ex-boyfriends with the help of her sex maniac neighbour. This guy was actually a good one. When he knew that he was in love with Ally (the woman), he stopped doing that crazy thing. The most important thing is that Colin (the guy) can accept as who she is. She just be herself when she was with Colin. At last, both of them were together and later they found out that he was her number 20 (she didn't sleep with the last guy because she was too drunk). So cute! Well, when we can be ourselves, we will be happy with our life. My early marriage, I was not that happy. My husband wanted me to be the kind of woman that he liked (the problem is when we were dating, he never said that or didn't make any comment of my clothes). It was so frustrated to be in the world that you did not fit in. May be, my husband could see the change of me. I seldom talked to him or I don't know, he just noticed it. He didn't want to lose me so, we talked. I told him that I was not happy with my life anymore. It was so dull. Ahmad was so small at that time. I have a husband but I don't feel anything. He was generous. He gave me whatever I wanted but that was it. I felt nothing. Then, he tried to accept me as who I am. I can talk anything with him. I can wear anything. Now, I like to wear slippers (although he did ask me to wear branded ones, I just said no, thank you. These are better. I feel free). Shoes are too formal. He let me listen to my fly.fm sometimes although his favourite was Sinar.fm. He let me to make stupid dance with Ahmad in front of him although I did see him raising his eyebrow, looking confused. We are different but when he appreciates me as who I am, I really feel grateful. Last time, I just had the feeling of respect to him as my husband. Now, I love and adore him. Thank you for accepting me as who I am. Love you, love you and love you.

Be happy, be happy, be happy

Hi! Don't like the school anymore. Lots of things that I am not satisfied. Everything is upside down. I had class with my 3A until 10.40 a.m but until 11.35, no teacher came. The students were having Science Paper 2 until 12.00 o'clock. I just left the class. I went to the office, both of the administrators didn't help at all. So, that's it. I don't know who collect their exam papers and I don't give a damn.Our banglong was always not around, the other three (bang ngah, bang teh and bang cik) couldn't work together, the teachers took advantage and the students especially the naughty ones had party at school all the time (it was so noisy). This is not a school anymore, it is a circus or funfair. This coming break, I will really-really enjoy myself. Don't want to think of the school anymore. I have good news, my skin is quite ok now. Vivien (my new beautician) was not angry anymore. She told me that my skin was soft, moist and bright a bit. She likes it. Every time I went there, she would cut a few spot on my face. She reminded me many times not to peel them. There was one, looked like a big mole on my cheek (sebijik macam Pua Chu Kang)but after a few days, it was gone. Luckily, there was no scar. My husband was worried. He kept reminding me about our age. Aiya, I know I am old. Last time Kak Datin asked me to have an eye-laser treatment. No more glasses, no more lenses. I don't think I will do it. I feel comfortable wearing glasses at school. But who knows I will change my mind one day.....

Hi! Last time a girl cried in my class. She had problem with her family and boyfriend. I thought she will break up with him but hiiiii they are still together. Actually, I do not mind with this boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. If everything goes well, this girl will get good results in all her exams but what about if it doesn't go well. I am afraid this girl is not strong enough to face it. I told the class about my experience. Man is like a booster. My results were good until my third year. Although my ex-boyfriend was not around (we were not in the same university), I could feel he was supporting me. Examination was like a piece of cake. No problem. When I lost him (after 10 years relationship), I just felt empty. I had many friends but it's not same. When I had problem, I wanted to call him asking for advice. Then, I realised it was no more. I forgot that our relationship was dead. My parents were my great supporters. It's not easy to forget that Capricorn guy. So, my final exam result was not that good. Just consider that I was lucky to get my degree. May be both of us were young and couldn't think well. Capricorn guy was so possessive. He never showed it to me but when he heard rumours about something, he would see that boy or guy face to face. After that, the boy or the guy would never disturb me. At first I did not notice it, although my friends did tell me about it. After a few incidents, then I realised but I was not angry,he just wanted to protect me. Better to forget him. He has his family and so do I. Talking about family, my husband asked me to make a choice, Singapore or Samsung Galaxy tablet/note. He wanted to give me a present. I prefer Samsung Galaxy tablet. The price was around RM 1800 something. Ah Tan told me that it is cheaper if I buy it from Chong, RM 1600. The price is tempting but may be the product is not original, that's why it is cheap. Need to ask Lok, he knows everything about gadgets. Last year I bought my ASUS notebook from him. I thought my husband won't use mine as he has his own but he preferred to use mine. It was faster. That's why I need the tablet!

Please forgive me, Abah

Tonight is my father's birthday kenduri but I won't go. I know it will upset my father but I have no choice. My husband does understand my situation and he just accepts my action. Let them enjoy themselves tonight. I think I'll be ok. I did not cry in front of them but I am crying now. So sad. I will miss the most important person in my life's birthday. I pray to God for my father's health. I don't know. I am so confused. I really-really love my family but they do not understand it. After this I won't say anything, I will keep my mouth shut. I will become a stranger to them, not as their youngest sister. I feel guilty to my son. He kept asking why he couldn't go to my mother's house to celebrate his atuk's birthday. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I feel so tired......Happy birthday Abah, I love you!

Be grateful!

Hi! Actually I have no mood to type. I paid too much attention on the drama that I had sleepless nights almost one week. I just hope everything will be ok after the competition. Tonight I will watch a video "the vow". I just read the synopsis. It was about the wife who had lost her memory after having an accident. The husband tried to make his wife fell in love with him again. I don't know. The main reason that I have blogs because I am so scared that if one day I will lose my memory and forget all the people that I cared. It will be so bad to live with strangers who are actually the people you had loved once. I am not that good at driving. Just hope that situation won't happen to me. Shu..shu...shu....don't want to think of it. Good news...my husband gets a promotion. Now, he is in DG48. Not bad. He always makes me happy and this is what he got in return. Ustaz did say once that I was a lucky person ( orang yang bertuah). Tell you the truth, I was the unwanted baby. My mother tried to abort me many times but I still wanted to live. Too strong to be killed! A terminator baby huh!I knew the story when I was 12 years old. My aunty told me. That's why I became a rebellious teenager. So, after I was born, my mother started her business. A maid took care of me. My mother did it so well. My parents bought assets. When we stayed with my parents for eight years, my father was fine but after we moved out, my father's health was not good. Last time, two teachers from DUHA(SMK Dato' Undang Hj Adnan) came to my school to learn something from me. I really wanted to help their PSS that I asked one of the teachers to save one folder in her thumbdrive. But while I was talking to her friend, she saved all my works including my strategic plans. I was so angry but didn't want to say anything because they were my guests. Later, her thumbdrive got virus and she lost everything. She called me wanted to do the same thing. Betul-betul tak tahu malu. I had many miss calls from her. I called her a desperate teacher. Only once I answered her call, the rest became history. May be it is just coincident. But I really thank to God for giving me every thing(except babies but it is ok, I still have my handsome boy, Ahmad). Love You, God.

Hi!Today we talk about the hottest issue in Malaysia, gay among the Malay guys. Out of ten Malay guys, three or five are gay. Scarry, isn't it. It is a very sensitive issue but to me it is so simple. Why was Eve created in heaven? All because of Adam. He needed a woman to fulfill his needs. God didn't create a woman and a guy for Adam, just Eve (Hawa). When I was in boarding school, got a few girls couples. Even in my group, there were two couples. But one couple was so serious, her partner always had a love bite on her neck. Crazy. I didn't like their attitude at all. We never said anything to them or advise them, afraid that it would hurt their feelings. The problem was other girls thought that all of us were the same. There was one girl put my head on her lap. I was sleeping on the floor at that time. She played with my hair and whispered "I love you" to me.I was shocked but I pretended sleeping. Really-really crazy. After that I never slept on the floor anymore, better slept on my bed or ran away to my friend's room.She got the wrong person. I am completely normal. May be the way I looked (with my sleeveless t-shirt, longsleeve shirt and long pants), I looked like a guy to her. Just be normal ok. You are safe mentally and physically. About gay in my boarding school. I've got stories but may be later......