heaven or hell

Have you ever think of death? I always think of it. How will I die? When will I die? Am I good enough to enter heaven? What about hell? Either one will be my permanent residence. I will be happy forever in heaven or I will be tortured forever in hell. It is scary if you think of it, I mean the hell. They said it is easy for women to enter paradise. They must take care of their solat, fasting, aurat and the husband. Solat means you do not pray late, which I am still struggling to do it. The rest I think I have no problem. I love my husband so much more than my life. I will do anything just to make him happy. He is my perfect husband now. I cannot find his mistake. He is a very good man. He knows I miss my father so he works hard to make me happy. Last time, I told him that if I die I want him to bathe me. He, alone. He won't say anything bad about my body. He is the only one I can trust. Oh ya today is my birthday. My husband bought me fish n chip and my favourite cakes from secret recipe. Thank you so much. Love you as I always do.