Hi! Miss my blog. I lost my dearest Chik last fortnight. It was so sad because she was the first person in my husband's family to accept me as who I am. I knew my mother in-law preferred Kelantanese woman to marry her eldest son but the problem was her son loves me. I still remembered my husband told me that Chik asked my mother in-law to take a good care of me because she said that I was a good woman. My mother in-law told my husband about it. I am not like other Kelantanese woman. I love my faded jeans and my faded t-shirt. Cool. I am a bit rough and frank. May be she was not used to it, that's why she couldn't accept me at first. She started to accept me wholeheartedly around four or five years ago and this year I think she loves me more than I deserve to. I respect and treat my parents in-law just like my own parents. I never look down on them. It is my job to remind my husband to call his mother, to save some money in her tabung haji and to visit his family in Kelantan. I am not good at cooking but I wouldn't mind to cook for his family. The best part was they would eat whatever I cooked for them. May be now she has realized how lucky she is to have a daughter in-law like me. Chik was the first corpse I kissed. I kissed her many times. She was like sleeping on her bed. I will miss her smile and her chuckles. She always called me Mek. Last time after her death, I would cry whenever I told someone about her. May God bless her soul. Amin. People will change one day. Last year, Jep and Zihan called me (they were my red ribbon group members at school). I was so happy because at least they still remember me. They asked me so many things but I did not like some of the questions. If about my family, no problem. Then, they asked me to join their reunion in KL. I just said,"No". After that, one mangkuk guy called me a few times and sent messages to me, asking me to join that reunion. At last I answered his call. He never expected my reason for not joining them. I still remembered his words, "Kau kan salah seorang kutu (like taiko lah) yang hebat dekat sekolah, apa salah join kita orang." I told him that I am not the same person like before. "Maaf, saya dah muak dengan semua tu, sekarang saya nak tumpu pada keluarga saya." I also told him that I was not anti-social, I just prefer to spend my time with my family. That's the truth. He was shocked. I am very sure he had told every body during the reunion event. But I still did naughty thing. Last Saturday, I climbed over my fence because the remote control gate was not working ( my son tried to do the same thing but he was stucked on top of the fence). I didn't give a damn if my neighbours saw me doing it. Luckily, I wore my trackbottom that day. My husband, when I told him about it, he just laughed. He was relieved because I still had my guts. He didn't want me to be coward because of the new principal. Oh ya, my dearest husband sent a love message for the first time on Valentine's day (but he stressed that his action was not because of that day). Who cares...I just know that I love him more than before.

A motivation for me!!

Hi! Lots of things happened at school. I am feeling down until today. Tried to look happy but my face is like an open book,easy to read. I hate school. I still did my work but it's not that good. Even teaching also, sometimes I got stucked. My husband tried his best to motivate me. I told him that I will change but.....May be I was pampered by Puan Soon that I cannot accept changes. Sometimes, the new one was too much. I couldn't accept it. Last Friday, the school called me at 12.50pm. I called the clerk at 3.00pm the reason for it. She said she didn't know about it because everyone had gone home except him. I was so scared that I cried while watering my plants. Then, I sat looking at my plants. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I must fight the feeling. He wants me to accept his style and I will do it. But it's easy to say but to face him, fuh! I don't know why I have become so weak. Relax! Relax! Everything will be ok.Oh ya! Talking about motivation. Last year, one girl told me about Chong. I would use his fullname when I was angry at him. Her story made me wanted to call him but then she said no need. She said that he has grown up and he should think well. I don't know but I just listened to her. Moreover, if I did call him, I don't think he will remember me. I just hope he has good friends or at least a good buddy, that is very important. When we have problems, we need to talk to someone that can lighten our problem. When I told my story to my sisters, they laughed because they said he was very funny. They didn't help at all. But whatever our problem is, do not end our life. Do not run away from it. How scared you are or how hard the problem is, we must face it and said I CAN DO IT (not to commit suicide loh). Take care!