Hi! It has been so long that i stop updating my blog. Well, i am back. Many things happened, the good and the bad ones but my family are still together. Welcome my new member in my family, my old daughter that's my mother. Sometimes, she would stay with us but all depend on her. I've got back my old gang, the red ribbon. Last december, they came to my house for a reunion. No husbands are allowed to join. We had fun. Ww shared stories. They have changed of course i mean our size but they are still the same persons that i have known for a long time, shamid, icol, jana, zihan, aiy ( datin aiy actually but we still call her aiy). Jepun, jali, ayu, itam and jr couldn't make it. They brought their girls, nab, shamad, kristina and cute boy, amirul. Well, see you in my next post.

heaven or hell

Have you ever think of death? I always think of it. How will I die? When will I die? Am I good enough to enter heaven? What about hell? Either one will be my permanent residence. I will be happy forever in heaven or I will be tortured forever in hell. It is scary if you think of it, I mean the hell. They said it is easy for women to enter paradise. They must take care of their solat, fasting, aurat and the husband. Solat means you do not pray late, which I am still struggling to do it. The rest I think I have no problem. I love my husband so much more than my life. I will do anything just to make him happy. He is my perfect husband now. I cannot find his mistake. He is a very good man. He knows I miss my father so he works hard to make me happy. Last time, I told him that if I die I want him to bathe me. He, alone. He won't say anything bad about my body. He is the only one I can trust. Oh ya today is my birthday. My husband bought me fish n chip and my favourite cakes from secret recipe. Thank you so much. Love you as I always do.

A salute to you, my friend

I am a bit emotional tonight. Losing my father is like I have lost my right wing. I can't fly anymore. It is sad. So sad. But i still have my husband and my son. They always support me and make me happy. They help me to walk faster so I still can reach my destiny. I consider myself as lucky because i have my family behind me. They will push me to move forward. They won't leave me behind. I wonder the one who is all alone. He or she must be a very strong person. I don't think I am that strong. A salute to you. Take care.

making love is the best remedy

Hi! I am back. Happy to update my blog. How to start? My husband downloaded whatsapp and telegram for me. My ex school mates sent me welcome messages. I met my old friends Aae, Net, shahiza online. It was great. Really great. Oh ya. Today I am going to take my mum to the famous Nasi Arab Damsyik in Seremban. Just want to make her happy. Her happiness is my priority and thanks to my husband for being so supportive. My husband and i are very closed now. I could read his mind and so did he. He knew my mood so well. He loved when i was stressed. Why? Because he knew the remedy for it. Making love. Ha! Ha! Yes. I would be OK after that and i could sleep well. No need to see a counsellor, consultant or have a holiday trip. This way is free and you will have fun. Sometimes, if I had a big programme in school or anything, I would be tensed up. But by making love, it relaxed my mind and i could think well. It's like I am ready to face any challenge on that day. I just said based on my experience. It's up to you whether you want to believe it or not. Another advantage of making love is it burns your calories. It is like you are doing physical exercise in the gym. Ha! Ha! One more thing, my old friends looked at my picture profile in the whatsapp, their comment was I still look young. Yes!

Hi. I am still alive. I still don't have the mood to write. I should be happy and i do look happy but i am not. I love my life and at the same time i hate it. I think i need a break. I want to go somewhere with my husband. I don't think he will agree. I really need to leave this place. This saturday, he will have his ldp. Then we will go to my brother's open house. Hii..boring, boring and boring.

Love you Abah

Hi! I'm back. It has been more than 100 days my father had passed away. I still cry for him. It's like a dream. Sometimes I dreamt of him. I always saw him laughing in my dreams. Once, I dreamt that he was wearing Ihram clothes in front of kaabah, like he was performing umrah. He's a good man, a very fined man. When I went to Istanbul and then performed my umrah, I always prayed for my father's long life. But on 31st of January, after coming back from kelantan, that afternoon I took care of him. Before that he vomitted lots of blood (Thursday night). He had an internal bleeding. All because of his ulcer could not tolerate with the TB medicines. That's why I rushed back to tampin ,early Friday morning. He was so happy to see me. Both of us cried because we still could see each other. When I took care of him that day, he always looked upwards. He held my hand and kissed it and then he put my hand on his chest. He nodded to somebody that i could not see. I thought it was a ghost. When he held my hand, I told him that our hands looked alike. We laughed then I cried. My father was not happy. He said something and sighed. I wiped my tears quickly and shared stories with him. He was not interested to hear my stories anymore. He was like in another world. But he kept holding my hand. That night before I left him, he touched my cheek and put his hand on his lips. That night, I told my husband that I would let my father go. That night I did not pray for his long life anymore. I just asked Allah to feel pity to my father. He was the kindest person I had ever met in my life. On 1st of February, ...............

Hi. Lots of thing happened to me. My dearest father passed away on 2nd february. It was on sunday, 5.10 am. Oh my god. I don't think i can carry on. I am still not ready. Sorry.....