Hi. I am still alive. I still don't have the mood to write. I should be happy and i do look happy but i am not. I love my life and at the same time i hate it. I think i need a break. I want to go somewhere with my husband. I don't think he will agree. I really need to leave this place. This saturday, he will have his ldp. Then we will go to my brother's open house. Hii..boring, boring and boring.

Love you Abah

Hi! I'm back. It has been more than 100 days my father had passed away. I still cry for him. It's like a dream. Sometimes I dreamt of him. I always saw him laughing in my dreams. Once, I dreamt that he was wearing Ihram clothes in front of kaabah, like he was performing umrah. He's a good man, a very fined man. When I went to Istanbul and then performed my umrah, I always prayed for my father's long life. But on 31st of January, after coming back from kelantan, that afternoon I took care of him. Before that he vomitted lots of blood (Thursday night). He had an internal bleeding. All because of his ulcer could not tolerate with the TB medicines. That's why I rushed back to tampin ,early Friday morning. He was so happy to see me. Both of us cried because we still could see each other. When I took care of him that day, he always looked upwards. He held my hand and kissed it and then he put my hand on his chest. He nodded to somebody that i could not see. I thought it was a ghost. When he held my hand, I told him that our hands looked alike. We laughed then I cried. My father was not happy. He said something and sighed. I wiped my tears quickly and shared stories with him. He was not interested to hear my stories anymore. He was like in another world. But he kept holding my hand. That night before I left him, he touched my cheek and put his hand on his lips. That night, I told my husband that I would let my father go. That night I did not pray for his long life anymore. I just asked Allah to feel pity to my father. He was the kindest person I had ever met in my life. On 1st of February, ...............

Hi. Lots of thing happened to me. My dearest father passed away on 2nd february. It was on sunday, 5.10 am. Oh my god. I don't think i can carry on. I am still not ready. Sorry.....

you are my hero

Sorry. My hero, I mean my father is not well. I don't know. I am really worried about him. I just hope he will be ok. I really don't have the mood to share anything. In my mind, I just think of my father. I am not ready to lose him. I don't want him to leave me. It is sad. So sad. I cannot tell my friend about my father. I am afraid I will cry. I told him that if only I could share his pain but he said no. He has lived for almost 80 years old. 30th march will be his birthday. He wants me to live longer and have grandchildren or great grandchildren like him. I don't know. It is like a part of me has gone away. He did not want to eat medicine but when I begged him to eat it, he ate. I know he did not like it at all but he ate it. All because he felt pity to me. I think I better stop now. I don't want my husband to see my crying. He won't like it. I just let my heart cry..........

hello.....

Hi! It has been so long. I was busy with pmr preparation and my son's final exam. Phew.....settled. My son got b for his English, c for bm, d for his maths. The rest, history. He failed hs science for the first time because I did not teach him science at all. Pity him. I am happy for him. He got 48 for maths. It is good. Before this, he always failed his maths. Oh ya, swipe fruits game, I am addicted to this game. I scored more than 300,000 so, I am considered as master of this game. It is level 9 but if I can reach level 12, I will be considered as legend of the wizards. I beat my son. He just reached level 6, good learner. Oh ya,my husband bought his galaxy note 3 from lok. Wow, the price.......I will buy it in January, next year. Lots of money to be used this year. This December, we will go to Medina, mecca and Istanbul. We have to buy winter garments and shoes. My budget....around rm2400. I really hope it is enough. I had already bought three jubah, robes to wear for my umrah. I love wearing them. Need to buy one more. Oh ya...the form five students met me today. I did not cry. I felt sad a bit, but that 's it. Well, no more students touched my heart. Next year, I will not become guru media anymore. Chu a will take over my job. I just hope everything will be OK. Cikgu aziz told me that he will give me another work to help our school. Whatever.....I did not want to ask. Oh ya our pss kl trip last time. I was stranded with my group at klcc. Luckily, the students could find us. I called one of them and told them where we were. So, they came to fetch us. The money that fatihah collected from non librarians, I gave to the students who had not enough money to buy food that night. So, everybody was happy and reached tampin safely. Thank you to Mr Gobi, our driver. My son had fun and showed his pictures excitedly to his papa. My students, they 're wonderful! Finally, my mom pop, pep, pop, pep about my face. She was not satisfied and asked me to do something about it. So, I used my homemade mask, white egg and honey to put on my face every night. Now, it looks OK. Hiiii...I was tired before. Playing swipe fruits games and key in PBS.....it showed on my face. Thanks to my mom...one cute boy in 1 a said I was beautiful yesterday, kah! Kah! Kah!

haiiiiiiiiiiiiii

We will have a trip to kl this Saturday. Organised by pss. The bus fare is free for all librarians but to non librarians, they have to pay rm 10 only. Haii....I am not satisfied with ng. There were not enough seats so i had to drop her boyfriend and boyfriend's best friend from the list. She did not want to join the trip. Then, ng's best friends didn't want to join. Last night, fatihah called me and said that Chua and tan did not want to join the trip. Aiya.....now I have extra seats. Really give me problem this girl. Just want to show their protest. I can also do that. I won't sign anything when they ask me to do that. Pity fatihah, she works so hard for the trip. If ng did not want to go, I do understand. The other girls, I really do not understand. If she goes to kl, she will walk with her boyfriend and her boyfriend's best friend will walk behind the couple. She won't walk with this mangkuk girls. Last week, when the girls asked me why did I drop her boyfriend and his best friend from the list, ah kang and cheong were there. They wanted me to check their English papers. After the girls left, I just did tui. The two boys asked me again and i said tui. I just feel to throw up. Haiya....they are so childish. I asked Wong wen xian whether he wants to join the Chinese girls. He said no, he will join my trip. I depend on him to control the students there, especially the Chinese. Luckily, I still have a few form five Chinese girls like kah Yin and Chi a Sean. Really spoil my mood. Oh ya, my January project next year. I want to buy two mobile phones, for me and my husband. Need to find the latest ones. My husband will ask who else his best friend, lok to buy them. I don't know, I thought I want to buy them myself but never mind. My husband always knows the best for me !

had fun with my students

Dialogue a: Ng : teacher, my mother's blog, lee kuan yew likes Tee: teacher, my blog, dato lee chong Wei likes Ng, my blog, najib likes Tee: my blog, teacher likes Thong: aiya, my blog, I like Kek: my blog, nobody likes Dialogue b: Kek: if i have a lot of money, I will buy a .........( showed a picture of a bra) Teacher: not that expensive Ng: if we put diamonds on that thing, it will be expensive maaaa. Dialogue c: Group presentation Group a: how to describe myself. (He showed a picture of a handsome Chinese actor ) I think I am handsome and tall like him Group b: how to describe myself ( showed a picture of k pop artist) I think I am pretty like her Ulul: ( looked at his friends) I don't want to live in this planet anymore